“Hey V-Man.”

“What?”

“You’re not eating!”

“I’m not?”

“No.”

“Well, even ‘I’ don’t know when I’m eating; I just mindlessly stuff things in my face.”

“So, if I were to, hypothetically, stick an old boot on your food, would you mindlessly eat that?”

“Ya know what Ovaryboy, suck my balls.”

“Could you mindlessly eat them?”

“Fuck You.”

“Besides the point, you never ‘not eat’.”

“It IS a new season.”

“True.”

The duo waited patiently for the next odd super villain, problem that doesn’t make any since, or deprivation of food. Finally it came, in the form of a giant owl-like bird.

The owl huffed and puffed as ran through the restaurant nearly suffocating himself.

“Huff huff” the owl breathed.

“You alright?” OB asked.

“Yes, I’m fine” the bird managed to pant.

“Why exactly were in such hurry, I know the food here is great, and by the looks of it I’d say you dine often” V-Man alleged.

“No!” he barely coped with “it’s something much worse!”

“What? Worse! Are you saying that this place is bad?! Look, ignore the ‘D’ rating on the front window, this place is good!”

“Imbecile! There comes a terror far worse than you have ever imagined!” the haunted bird said, still slightly huffing.

“I guess you don’t know me very well, I’ve fought an army of hot pants wearing men, destroyed a man who called himself the Green Teabagger, and fried a trio of fast food!” Vagina Man yelled proudly.

“Excuse me, my goodness, I think I lost my composure back there, my name is the Pudgy Pecker.” he said, extending his wing.

“Ovary boy.” said OB himself.

“Egad! Did that hair of yours just talk!?”

“No, you see, I happen to have a small Puerto Rican boy living in my hair, he has Ovaries extending from his temples and eats every other day.”

“Kudos.” Ovaryboy says, extending his hand.

“A pleasure.” Pudgy replied, shaking his hand.

“Now down to bisnitch, what are doing here, and why did you run in here so fast?”

“Oh, that” he said cautiously, “Look outside.”

The two, slightest be known, saw it was raining pigeon doo-doo everywhere.

“Holy shit!” V-Man yelled.

“You can say that again.”

“Holy shit!”

“Ok, stop.”

“Well, as you can see, we’re at quite the predicament.”

“Any reason why they poo outside like that?”

“It’s a long story you see, they, on Fridays, get extremely drunk, and I act like a ‘designated driver’ but, today however, they got a little out of hand.”

“I see.” OB said, watching a piece of gelatinous goop slide off the window.

“So, how do we go about taking care of this problem?”

“Well the only way I see is wait they will eventually get extremely bored and go somewhere else.”

They waited for a good hour, the Hot Sandwhich nearly drowning in the hot sludge, but finally, V-Man couldn’t take it anymore.

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!” He screamed.

V-Man steadily grew insane, the platter platter of the of the goopy glop, the hellish stench, like a thousand rotten eggs breaking right in front of him.

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!” He screamed, louder.

“We heard you the first time!” OB yelled.

V-Man grabbed the lighter in his back pocket that he never used and lit it.

“DIE YOU DEVILS!!!!” he said, tossing the lighter outside.

The flames immediately ignited with the deadly excretions and created a fireworks show that even World War 2 veterans could admire.

An hour later...

“My goodness, that is delicious,” the Pudgy Pecker said, “Why this place is the most grand place I’ve ever been to!”

“I’m glad you like it.” said V-Man covering his nose.

“Now I know why they hated you so much, you smell worse than all of them combined!”

“I know.” he said with a snicker.